Am I wrong to want him still? Is it niave of me to think I can make it work? I love him. I can't help it. I just wish i knew how to stop so I wouldn't get hurt. I know he's going to hurt me. Well, more than he already has. But yet I find myself wondering if maybe, just maybe it's worth the pain. Maybe he's worth risking it all and worth breaking my heart over. I know that must seem so stupid but that's the truth. I'm willing to risk it all for that slightest of chance that it could work. He means that much that to me. I want him that badly. Nobody can change my mind on this one. I'm set. I will give it my all no matter the consequences. I love you.

i am in a pretty bummed out mood... i don't know the last time i was this low... i am not angry or anything just extremly sad... its crushing....






that terrifies me.

I fade away into nothingness
He brings me back to life
I am nothing without my boy

His love gives my wings
As we fly higher together
I am grounded without my boy

I can't breath alone
His kiss gives me air
I die without my boy

I lose myself at night
His touch leads me home
I am lost without my boy

I cry when I'm alone
He kisses them away
I am miserable without my boy

 

Please believe me when I say
I appreciate the concern
But you must give me space

Please believe me when I say
This is my struggle
One I'm not yet ready to face

Please believe me when I say
This will get better
I just need time

Please believe me when I say
I can only help myself
The responsibility is all mine

Please believe me when I say
For now you can only hope
That one day ill be back to my best

Please believe me when I say
That’s all I ask of you
I’ll take care of all the rest

Cut deep into your skin
As tears stream down your face
Watch the blood drain
This is not just a phase

The emotions come out
Your mind screams
Its hard to admit
Lifes only good in dreams

The razor shines bright
Against the moon in this night sky
Its never going to end
The constant thought of suicide

The misery is taking over
Joy never seems to show
Its hard to even breathe
When the pain is all you know

So close your eyes nice and tight
Let the blood keep coming
Look death in the face
You can't always keep running

I have the most gruesome intentions.
Things I wouldn’t dare to mention.
I am a maniacal being.
One who has lost all feeling.
I have nothing to live for.

My mind is a tormented place.
I have demons that I can’t face.
I say that I’m okay, I lie.
And I only want to die.
I have nothing to live for.

I am a masochist.
As well as a pessimist.
I beg the reaper to take me away.
I cannot go on another day.
I have nothing to live for.

I have my psychopathic episodes.
I bet that’s something you didn’t know.
I’m angry inside and a fighter.
I hold the weight of the world, nothing slighter
I have nothing to live for.

My body has rebelled against me.
I am not the person I want to be.
I binge and purge, I’m not proud.
The voices in my head are just too loud.
I have nothing to live for.

I have the most gruesome intentions.
Things I wouldn’t dare to mention.
I am a maniacal being.
One who has lost all feeling.
I have nothing to live for.

I awake and I am not alone
I reach out to touch your face
You are my beautiful love

I could lay here forever
With our bodies entwinded
It feels so good to be with you

I look at you with adoring eyes
And a part of my heart breaks
I don't deserve someone so perfect

You stir and then wake
There are tears in my eyes
But you kiss them all away

I love you with every part of me
And I know you feel the same
I never want anyone but you love

I curl up in your strong and loving arms
We both quietly fall back to sleep
You are my beautiful love<3